So originally I had a awesome pre-written post for you on my New Years Resolutions for 2013. Unfortunately this weekend my entire house lost access to Internet, so I saved this post on a USB, which will not show up on my school's computer I am using. So here, you get this lovely, angsty pre-finals post from yours truly.
To say I'm stressed is a bit of an understatement, although now that term 2 has come to a close I am able to breathe a little. Then again, the exams I will take in the next 4 days will count as 10% of my grade for the year, so woo-hoo. Top that on with a death in the family and this Internet thing and I am just a ray of sunshine.
WARNING: TEEN GIRL DRAMA AHEAD
To be honest the thing that has gotten on my nerves lately is due to a friend, a best friend, of mine who has suddenly found his/her self (let's just say her name is Emma) in a relationship. Now I am so completely happy for Emma, good for her! However there is a piece of me that worries she is rushing things. I'll be honest I don't think one can date someone for a few months and decide they are "in love" with them, especially in high school. Sorry, I just don't think that is realistic. Nevertheless Emma is "in love" and is falling into the worse trap she can...
She is becoming the relationship.
What is "becoming the relationship"? Why, it is when one person devotes time he/she would normally devote to grades, friendships and hobbies to dating, talking on the telephone and obsessing over his/her bf/gf. I hate people who become the relationship. To me, the most important things to have in life are friends and you should never risk friends when it comes to a significant other. Unfortunately Emma is doing just that. I confronted her on New Years eve, calmly telling her I missed her and wished she would try to connect to me and our four other friends more. Well, Emma got very emotional, promised to do so, and returned to being a complete...-pick word of your choice here-.
The tipping point came last night when Emma finally returned my call, which I missed in return. I called her back, excited to have real conversation for the first time in weeks, but she told me she called "on accident". Still, we had a nice conversation for a couple minutes, a conversation that really seemed to be going somewhere...but then she told me she was waiting for a call from Edward (her boyfriend) and we hung up. Now, while I would like to point out call-waiting actually exists, I do want to make it clear I like Edward. He's a cool guy. What I don't like is this inconsiderate, incoherent person that Emma has become. I feel like I'm losing a friend, and months before high school ends the last thing I want to do is lose my walking partner for graduation. So readers, I leave this up to you (although if I don't like any of your suggestions I won't chose them). Should I confront Emma? Should I let things go until March and see if they will break up? Am I being insensitive because I don't know true love? Let me know. All opinions are appreciated.
Yours,
~Jess
I believe you need to confront her. She needs to hear how you feel when you are just with her. Sometimes people (when with other people) won't say everything they have on their mind. Now since she got emotional the night you were with her and your other friends clearly your friendship matters to her. Maybe a serious one on one could allow her to understand how you feel better. I'm not sure but maybe give it a shot! I hope the best for you!
ReplyDeleteWell, it sounds like he/she might have devoloped conflicted feelings over you. I hate to say it, but you need to talk to them, and seperate for awhile. Taking a breather from relationships with people in general can mend them faster than argumentative discussions. This person needs to sort out how to deal with these feelings, and you need to let them know that they'll be the ones to fix it, because you've already tried. You've put your heart and soul into it, and if they dont care enough to try back, then let it go. Remember, there's always fights between friends, but it takes both of them to pull it back together.
ReplyDeleteHi Jess i am one of your email followers and you dont hear much of me but i was in a situation a lot like yours about (oh jeez) a year ago and when you're in year 8 its not that friendly, now me and these girls tried several ways to tell it started off with telling her she wasn't being nice by ignoring her, to it coming to june and us going into a huge exam where we needed support and ignoring her and then it continued on to us (Me) telling her that she was a s*** friend and we didnt want to talk to her now about 3 months later one of our more distant friends that had gotten quite close asked what happened and we told her well so she said "so (name) was drowning in her own arrogance and you tried all that you know how" now i/we didnt completely understand this but our friend told this girl that she was drowning in her own arrogance and losing all her friends because of it. 3 months later when we are all leaving this girl becomes quite sociably friendly again. but it wasn't quite the same (but hey it was the last day of school i was never going to see her again). what i suggest you do is dont freak out and do what we did but ask her to spend some time with you and then ask the edward to try and get through to her and if all help doesn't work get someone that you know and she knows to talk to her and tell her whats happening from their POV (not one of your close friends though it doesn't work)
ReplyDeleteafter that if it really doesn't work let her go and let the relationship fall apart and then decide whether to let her back in or not after all its your senior year (mistakes are bound to happen)
Jess just remember high school is just high school you read it in books i'm sure its the same out there. You are not being insensitive but in high school girls do as you call it fall in love they realise later (either way we are almost always smarter than guys) keep hopes up dont let the friendship fall to pixie dust and certainly dont wait until march and dont do it asap wait 3 weeks before you do anything. right now the only thing i cant do for you is go through it all again.
Candi
cantbeatbooks.blogspot.com
i say just have your friend read your blog. Let them decide what to do. You can't force people to do what you want and I do think some of it is not knowing what it feels like to be "in love". I'm sure Emma is still your friend she just needs to learn how to keep her friends and her relationship together. Its a learning expierence for her too. LOM
ReplyDelete